I was stretched across a lounge chair, poolside, eyes closed behind my sunglasses. Desert mountains looked over us while rows of vineyard lined the hillside below. Beyond that, a lake. Osoyoos is among the most peaceful places I’ve ever been and yet as I reclined there in the sunshine my heart raced and my mind was full of noise.
My friend Dallas and I were on a work trip in Canadian wine country where we were invited by the hotel company to promote the resort and the town. I was helping her with content as photographer and copywriter between keeping up with work for the business I owned back home. We had one hour on this one day free to spend at the pool between custom chef dinners with cocktail pairings, wine tastings and winery tours, and incredibly special spiritual experiences, editing our photos and notes, and my other work.
And here I was, panic ridden. Anxiety had been with me, a companion within, for over a decade. It would sleep and it would rise, sleep and rise, but never would it lessen. Never would it actually leave my body. And now it was like waves to the drowning; I couldn’t catch my breath before another one hit.